shallow​\​DEEP

by Carlyle Laurent

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1.
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3.
03:35
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05:14
5.

credits

released January 6, 2013

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Carlyle Laurent Luxembourg

I make music in my room

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Track Name: ...So Much Longer
Verse 1:
You've been gone too long and I've been counting the days
till ya come back,
cus i've hit rock bottom
wondering what you'll say
when you see the mess that became of me

i can't sleep i lie awake
don't shut my eyes till the next damn day
i'm not ok
i'm stuck this way

Chorus:
Cus Being alone here
makes your abscense seem, so much longer
and not having you here
makes the days seem, so much longer
and i try to stay sober
but the absinthe lasts so much longer
yeah i try to stay sober
but the absinthe lasts so much longer

Verse 2:
i pace the room, i pace the house
i scream out loud, talk to myself
i might be better off dead
maybe i'll just take all my meds at once

why aren't you back yet I can't stop
thinking you left me check my phone
you haven't even called me
your phone must be out of battery

CHORUS

Chorus 2:
Psychiatrist tells me
you died last week but he's a liar
these pills that he gives me
are full of his lies, throw them in the fire

theres smoke in my eyes
i slip and thrust the carpet forward
now its catching flames
I close my eyes to join my daughter

The house is on fire
I close my eyes to join my daughter
The house is on fire
I close my eyes join my daughter
Track Name: Bedsheets
Verse 1:
I grasp
At strings that aren’t there
Hopes that can’t
Ever become, reality
Sometimes the fear’s immense
and I have no idea why
Why I can hardly face myself
Why I’ve almost fallen apart

Every day, every time
By myself, I can’t hide
From myself, I can’t lie
To me
Because I know my tell

Look around, whatcha see
Happy home, happy me
But I’m alone, happy me
Happy, happy
And don’t you fucking tell me
That I might need therapy



Verse 2:
I only care for myself
I'm all that I see
I hate being shallow but
Being deep would drown me
Chorus:
And i've been looking for a little bit of answer
yeah i've been looking for a little bit of conciounse
i've been looking for opinions that don't waste my time
when i'm always wasting breath to feel justified
I've been looking for a little bit of reason
to counteract this emotion that seems so blank
i've been looking for a little bit of colour
on my canvas

Verse 3:
I hate being shallow
But Being deep would drown me

Verse 3 Screams:
If I can meet myself when I was younger
If he could see who he was now
If we could somehow shake hands
I don't know how but

If he saw how far he'd come
I wonder if he'd be proud
Or if he would have just expected
to see my pills in my

Bedside draw, evermore
sadder than he thought he was before
I could tell him that I'm happy, cus we're wealthier than other families
but

All the wealth has ever done has afford me outlets
to ignore the life that i'm terrified to live
And pretending any different would just be cruel to him
so

I think I'd let him just absorb everything I am
I hurt myself by thinking, all fucking day
and all fucking night, I can’t close my eyes

would he notice that i'm terrified
of growing older, of leaving this passive life
of leaving this chair, of changing at all
I always feel so

small, like the biggest thing i do, might be nothing at all
like the biggest step i take might be just to fall
like the loudest noise I cry might be infantile
falling on deaf

ears. He probably wouldn't see
the mess that became of him and me
I wonder if he did, if he'd try to change
I don't think his will is strong enough anyway
Track Name: Like Angels (feat. Genevieve of Bad Reign)
(I don't have the lyrics to Genevieve's part, sozboz)
Verse 1:
Lie awake all day
till I fade away, cus I hate this place
you left like a hurricane
whipped the breath from me

i've grown to hate this place
make no mistake, i'm leaving soon,
but first i'll burn it to the ground
burn it to embers

See them floating in the air
like angels
fall
like angels
burn
like angels

Chorus:
Stop playing the victim, it never works
kindle your hate like a fire but your passion won't burn
leave with tail between your legs, but you never learn
no you never learn, you can only hurt

see them floating in the air like angels