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The Mormon Warrior

from Love Letters And Suicide Notes by Carlyle Laurent

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about

I had trouble contemplating whether or not to include this in the album, but eventually decided that I should as I worked quite hard on it. I hope to cause no offense, this is not a parody or derisive song directed at the Mormon Population, it is in fact a tribute to a Mormon friend of mine. When I wrote this song, he had just left home to go on his mission in Tahiti, and so I imagined a parallel universe where armageddon begins whilst he's on the plane, and when he lands it is his job to fight him. This song is that story.

lyrics

His name was Ryan from a European ghost town
He was a dedicated member of his Mormon church
He wasn't satisfied with his little quiet town life
He knew he was destined for greatness on this earth

and his Father came to him with a proposition
He said how'd you like to spread out word with a Mormon mission

Ryan knew that this here was his moment
his chance to finally travel and do something great
where do you want me to go my Mormon father
he said we're sending you to a real savage place

Where the people do not accept Jesus at least not yet
Ryan puffed out his chest and stood tall said that's where I come in

He packed his things and got right over to the airport
he was shaking with excitement time to spread the word
The take off all went smoothly nothing to worry about
It wasn't until later things started to get weird

As the sky turned a shade of red as it filled with blood
by the time he'd landed in Tahiti, end of days had begun

He ran to his curch for shelter
the Demons ran everywhere
one tried to creep up behind him
with a karate chop he took of its head

Chorus:
He's a Mormon warrior
Destroyer of evil
He's the prophet of destruction and the sword of Jesus

Ryan fended off at least 30 demons
The rest suddently exploded into dust
A beam of holy light came down from the ceiling
Inside was Jesus came to tell Ryan what's up

He held twin swords of flam and holy justice
He held them out to Ryan and said Go kick some ass with this

Ryan waded into the horde and span a circle of flame
incinerated 50 demons, and made a trophy necklace out of their tails

CHORUS

It wasn't long before ryan had destroyed every demon on Tahiti with his flaming swords
Their horned heads lay on the ground around him
he plunged his swords into the earth the Lord's work was done

A hole opened in the earth and took back the scum
Tahiti was saved from apocalypse by one Mormon

credits

from Love Letters And Suicide Notes, released February 26, 2016

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Carlyle Laurent Sheffield, UK

I make music

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