We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

I Got Rid Of the Sensible Voice In The Back Of My Head (And I Don't Ever Want It Back)

by Carlyle Laurent

supported by
notjohannes
notjohannes thumbnail
/
1.
Nightmare 02:57
buy track
2.
Road Crew 03:33
lyrics
buy track
I look like sunshine if I can help it noone needs to know A little sugar tonight Rock bottom nowhere left to go My hair is ten per cent grease I'm leaving blood on the walls I think I'll shorten my lease Got somewhere special to fall This is how to make it look real real real This is how to make it look real real real Pretend this is how it looks real real real I don't need to understand real real real We are the road crew We are the band We are the guiding force that's taking your hand We are the sickness We are the cure We are the image That you don't trust anymore The way that I like to think I ought to call it fantasy If I couraegously drink Then I can fake reality Red carpets framed pictured disk Cut ribbons with a wedding ring Never have an affair why would I ever wanna cheat This is how to make it look (more vigourously than last time) real real real This is how to make it look real real real Pretend this is how it looks real real real I don't need to understand real real real We are the lie We are the lie We are the lie
3.
Bedsheets IV: Whispers 05:22
lyrics
buy track
This is something else This is something disturbing to you This is something unreasonable This is something vain and untrue King of all I wasted away King of being king yesterday King of saying what I wanna say King of having it all my way and I don't like you anymore I don't like this anymore You don't wanna to whisper to me Settle now for whispering around me We are alright we're ready I am alright I'm ready King of all I wasted away King of my dominion and king I'll fucking stay King of everything put my way You know you can trust me, talk to me honey My bedsheets keep me cold they never worked at all my monsters still haunt me Bedsheets I trusted you but what more can I do my monsters still haunt me
4.
Hands 03:01
lyrics
buy track
Fading cases don't stay I know I've never been Breaking all of my bones, tell me that you don't know And you call me like you know me I guess I've been something less lonely But you call me and you don't know me Don't keep your hands to yourself Don't keep your hands to yourself I been leaking and oozing and spewing and Nothing is private no more no more I've been breaking and sweating and aching and nothing is public like we were And you hold him like you know him I guess I've been a constant reminder that you loathe what you couldn't hold on and when I see you with him the little voice my head it says
5.
Peace And Quiet 02:44
lyrics
buy track
Wouldn't it be nice If all I wanted was peace and quiet but I want peace and I want quiet and I want war to go beside it Oh Wouldn't it be nice Breaking down and feeling better than ever Cus i've got super glue keeping me together and if a piece falls off well that's just fine I'm sure I'll find it again sometime Welcome to the chaos in my mind I left my diary opened and open ended cause i wasn't even sure if I could tell I was pretending to not feel anything maybe that is why I sing to mean anything to any of those people I unfriended Does it count as bottling it up if I never talk about it but I'm always writing songs that make it so obvious Recognition might be all I want in the end but you said you like my songs so, say it again, say it again, say it again I am on fire, but I am so numb I cannot stop talking, till it renders me dumb And I am part of something, but I don't know where I'm from And I wanna be with you, but we are not one
6.
It's 3 am And I'm Not Hungry 02:27
buy track
7.
IHTW 04:15
lyrics
buy track
I wish that I didn't keep coming back here but I Feel a pull and I can't quite fight it It's like I'm telling myself to walk into an open flame and I Kind of want to try it We don't walk away and we don't get to run Throw caution to the wind before everything is done We don't get a second chance, we don't forgive or forget But if you're game then I'm willing to pretend I hate the world, it made me sick Rip my diary to bits My bed of pearls rots to dust All these colours to turn to rust I wish that I didn't keep coming back here but I Wanna pretend that it might be healthy It's like I'm telling myself to throw everything away I don't want to go, but I don't want to stay We don't walk away and we don't get to run You get too used to the moon and you don't want to feel the sun We don't give a second chance, we don't forgive or forget Letting go is something else but I can't speak to that I hate the world, it made me sick It seeps under the fabric Of who we are, get so far Burn in blazes, short-lived stars And we're always awake, we're always awake We're not all the same, but we're always the same way I hate the world, it made me sick All these good things turn to shit I never learn, why start now? I always bounce back somehow
8.
Today (Album Version) 04:01
lyrics
buy track
I'm in a loop feels like I just woke up all the time The minute hand just passes by I'm in a rut Feels like my bedsheets are stuck It feels wrong The hour hand just marches on It's so unfortunate I wish that I could pretend to care About what you had to say Guess that I'll just get nothing done today Just write off today I know you needed me to be not stuck in all this apathy but honestly just leave me be I wanna just get nothing done today Just write off today I'm in a mood, I'm in that way I'm keeping my eyes closed you'll wanna stay away from me Today I wanna just let my brain atrophy I know you want the best of me I can't give that to you today so just trust me For a little bit, this is just how it has to be I'm going out of my mind Feels like I'm losing my mind
9.
August 02:39
lyrics
buy track
I set you off, I can sort of hear you crackle like a fire cracker, off in the distance somewhere in the air, theres a girl who look a lot like you Being happy in her daydream How you doing lately I think I could surprise you If I told you that I'm still trying work you into my thrills It'd be so depressing if it wasn't so real I love to walk the line between absurd and well defined I think you left my last message on read some time back in early august I filter everything good, then I mix it back in It tastes so rich, when you time it just right I've been at it all night, and I'm starting to picture how I'd time it just right with you I love to walk the line between absurd and well defined I think you have to understand that this is absurd time to call it quits I love to walk the line between I'm lonely and I'm fine I think you left my last message on read is there something that I'm not getting right tonight
10.
Feel 02:49
lyrics
buy track
I'm tired of falling It's been a while, It's been a while now, and I don't think I'm stopping, anytime soon I'm tired of wanting wanting more, wanting less, wanting rid of it rid of it all Who knows if you'll care who knows if you'll see but I think that there's something that's broken in me I sit and I wait just to check if its real Maybe if I never decide, I'll forget how to feel My head says its one thing my doctor says different My boss wants to know if I'll ever be back in I'm trying believe me I'm doing my bestest not Christian but I hope for divine intervention This is a pain in the neck my hands will not do what they're told My vision is wrinkled and old I wanna look up my symptoms but I can't remember what they're called I doubt if you'll care I doubt if you'll see but I think that there's something that's broken in me I sit and I wait just to check if its real Maybe if I never decide, I'll forget how to feel
11.
The Moment 03:26
lyrics
buy track
I think I'm pretty good at self reflection cus I can recognise the problem But that's not enough to make it stick Even if everybody says that's the first step I think I'm pretty good at being honest if you force me but wouldn't that be rude Is that really what a friend would do I'm a special kind of train wreck Cus I don't wanna fix the track I got rid of that sensible voice in the back of my head And I don't ever want it back (it used to say) Just get through the moment Then get through the day Then get through tomorrow Smiling all the way They'll say that you're happy That you're full of laughs Just get through the moment and smile if you can You get tired of hearing That it gets better, if you just try Cus sometimes it doesn't Yeah sometimes that's a lie You get tired of hearing That it'll all be alright Cus sometimes it isn't Sometimes they lie I'm a special kind of train wreck Cus I don't wanna fix the track I got rid of that sensible voice in the back of my head And I don't ever want it back (it used to say) It feels like you get blisters Taking two steps forward and one step back So you do it on tiptoes And you get nowhere fast
12.
Watch As Time Runs Out 03:17
lyrics
buy track
Loser like a playground, hang your head a minute or Get yourself lost in the weeds Pawn, Queen, Horse, Rook, take a look at what it took To pretend you had any idea What you were doing by yourself No you're no good at this game You can look me in the eye and say you got it handled this time But we both know you're gonna play the same And it'll hurt like it never has before, like it never has before like it never has before Pitied broken champion could change your strategy 'cause what you're doing right now is just sapping energy Sit and fear and break some bones with words and empathy And tell yourself ain't it a shame that nothing works for me But this time it feels so special, this time she feels so angel She don't even know you're playing, you don't know just what you're saying Burn yourself so non-commital hope it just works out Sit there twiddling your thumbs and watch as time runs out
13.
Melted 02:13
buy track
14.
Natural 05:36
lyrics
buy track
I'm not even sure if I like you but you keep ending up in my room its a thought and its a person but I don't know what I'd do You smell of something that I want but you reek of it afterwards And you tell me it doesn't hurt until it does and I know I know that you're lying to me but I'm just numb enough not to care If I maintain this feeling for just long enough I can just get myself to despair And the lies that we tell to ourselves start to stack in the hall where I left my conviction watch your step or you'll fall Right into my bed, forget what I said Doesn't it feel so natural I'm not sure if I like you, but I almost wish that I did, just enough to abuse you just enough, to use you cus god I could use, using someone like you I envy having it in you not to feel I envy having it in you to break someone to feel broken to move it on like a virus you got from your carnal lust and I know I know that you're lying to me but I'm just numb enough not to care If I maintain this feeling for just long enough I can just get myself to despair
15.
Blue 01:51
lyrics
buy track
You're at your best when you are blue And saying that feels like a silly stupid thing to do, I'm evil it's true I hate to see you cry but I love to be the one that makes you smile, so stay here a while I wish I could say that when I chase the blues away, it's not selfish or moreish or cruel but you're at your best when you are blue cus that's when it helps to hear that I love you I'm a sucker for a laugh and sometimes its nice to guide you on the path so you see its not so bad I don't ever want you in pain but I relish being the one to bring change, so baby you should stay

credits

released August 21, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Carlyle Laurent image

Carlyle Laurent Sheffield, UK

I make music

contact / help

Contact Carlyle Laurent

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Carlyle Laurent, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now